Lights Out

Okay, so I just got home from the baseball game and pure craziness happened. The lights went out in the entire stadium, and I was left in the pitch black. Ahhh! Yes, insane. Anyway, life has been pretty hectic today...I only broke down once, a plus. I found out while filing my FAFSA that my ex-husband lied to me about my federal tax returns...he told me we got $1200 when we really got $2550. He forged my signature, cashed the check and then give me only 1/4 of what was rightfully mine (which he really never gave me because I ended up paying him). Jerk. Anyway, I e-mail his mom today because I'm at a loss of what to do. She calls me petty and then starts tallying off all these things I owe her for (i.e. tax return filing, a plane ticket to see her son after basic training, etc.). I almost threw up. She told me I should consider us even and basically get over it. This is a "Christian woman." No wonder we get a bad name. I told her it wasn't about the money...we all die one day and we can't take any of it with us. I also told her that if she felt that I owed her, then to please bill me, because I'd rather go poor to my grave knowing that I owed her nothing than to be indebted to her with an extra $900 in my bank account. It was the principal...it was the fact that she was condoning stealing and lying as a means to get ahead. I told her that I thought that, as a parent, she would be concerned...obviously I was wrong. I also told her that I felt that bitterness was the most evil trait to carry around in our hearts...I had to move out and move on...but I had moved on, and I felt sorry that she had so much anger in herself towards me (especially when she made the same decision at a young age and was thankful for it). More was said, but I could write forever. Anyway, my mom called, and I started reading her what I had wrote...and I started bawling. I finally broke down...I went through the whole day smiling through the pain, and I couldn't hold it in anymore. How can people be that condescending and cruel? I know I'm better. How dare you call me petty. He stole almost $700 from me. That may be petty to you, but NOT to me (that's not even a month's rent). And like I said, it's the principal. The sad fact of the matter is that, as educators, we can try so hard to teach our kids what is right, but at the end of the day, most of them are going to inherit the values and principals (or lack their of) handed down from their parents. When I got that e-mail from her, I finally realized why John said so many things that he did. I am just so thankful that I walked away and so thankful to know that God has a bigger and better plan for me...I'm reminded of that everyday.

I miss you guys. I don't really know where I'm going with this post...venting, I guess. I'm keeping "Dream" by the way, which I responded to in the original post...you ungrateful punks. Hehe. Love you both.