I haven't had much to say lately, but this seemed like the perfect forum to write about a little thing that happened today: it's private, but not too private. The chance that somebody might read this, however slim, heightens its cathartic strength.


I was planning to take a tour of the demilitarized zone this weekend. I had talked to one of my coworkers about it, and she was very excited. she and I aren't close--she is super Jesusy, and there are parts of my life that I could probably not share with her without making her uncomfortable--but I find her fascinating, and was looking forward to hanging out with her.

After making the plans, one of my other friends told me that there was a birthday party for another teacher this weekend. These two teachers I share more with--one frighteningly so, but that's another post, I suppose--so I told the other teacher that maybe we should do the DMZ tour another weekend, since it wasn't going anywhere, and the birthday was time-sensitive. I felt bad about it, as though I were blowing someone off, even though my reasons were quite aboveboard.

When I called the other teacher today to find out when I should show up to the party, I was really disappointed. I had misunderstood: the party was indeed tonight, but I was not invited.

I don't blame them for not inviting me--I've only known them two months--nor do I blame them for misleading me, since I am pretty sure I misled myself. Still, I feel sad, like I've been slighted somehow. And furthermore, I may have treated this other teacher second-handedly in my enthusiasm. I have only myself to blame, but writing all that down sure helps me to deal with it. Thanks for listening--whoever you might have been ;)